Strong-willed

Strong-willed.

Strong-willed is what I called him.  

He made that known within six weeks of his first breath.  Screaming and crying for hours tended to be his established routine.  Being a new mama, I tried not to take it personally.

Tried.  

As my mama-friends whizzed around taking their newborn out to dinner, to the mall or to the store, I wondered why I couldn't?  Why did my baby cry non-stop every single time I tried to step out of the house...and literally WOULD NOT STOP until I came back home?  

...even tried all that Growing Kids stuff, but he wouldn't submit.  He just cried.  Non-stop.

Strong-willed.  

Strong-willed is what I called him in his toddler years when he would throw a hair-raising tantrum, lasting longer than I care to admit.

I tried not take it personally.

Tried.

Then one day, I heard a radio program in regards to strong-willed children.  I tuned in closely.  Today, I couldn't tell you anything they said except this one statement that I clung to tightly:

...the trait in your young child that you see as 'difficult' right now, is the same trait that most likely will become his greatest strength...

I honestly wasn't sure I believed them, for sometimes it's hard to see the forest amidst the trees.

And then one day I blinked and that toddler was in second grade.  And I watched a struggling reader resolve to not give up.  Day after day that boy gave it his all.  He was determined to conquer the difficult.  It was a fierce battle, but conquer he did. 

And I got a small glimpse of a weakness becoming a strength.

A few more blinks and I found myself face to face with a teenager, who along the way had found something into which to channel all that will.  

That something was running.

Day in, day out I watched our first-born focus and harness that strong-will, bringing it into submission, pouring it into a sport that demanded his all. 

Those of us on the sideline marveled at his dedication, his discipline, his resolve...and before my very eyes, I watched God transform a weakness into a strength.

The cross country season unofficially kicks-off in the Louisville area at the St. X. Tiger Run.  With teams traveling far and wide, it has some of the fiercest competition around.  Joshua and the rest of our children consider it 'the meet of all meets'.  Last November when we broke the news to them that we were moving to Paducah, they all had an unanimous request:  'Can we come back and run the Tiger Run?'  

So last Saturday morning bright and early we found ourselves on the corner of Zorn and River Road, lined up with hundreds of other fans at the finish line of the middle school race...wondering who would come around the bin first.

Midway our first-born had been with the front runners.  

So I waited.  Hopeful.

Finally, the fans began cheering as the leader emerged.

It was Joshua.  Ahead of the pack by a good nine seconds.

While others saw a young man,  jaw-set and determined to win,

His mama had a flashback to earlier days.  Yes, I had seen this face before--

brow-furrowed, ill-tempered, intensity high...

...not giving up, but stubbornly fighting to the end...  

And what had once been temper-thrown angry-browed, uncontrolled will, had been channeled and harnessed for good.


...And that trait in my young child that I saw as 'difficult' was the same trait that had become his greatest strength...

Awarded for it even.

Strong-willed.

Strong-willed is what we call him.

These days, I have no problem taking it personally.