A Resurrected Heart

The evening of Easter I was talking to my friend.  She told me that at dinner as a means of thinking upon the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus, they had went around the table, taking turns answering the question, 'What is something in your life that was once dead, but is now alive?'  Basically, what in your life has been resurrected from the dead?  Now, my friend is prone to such deep, thought-provoking questions, so it was not surprising that in the same breath she told me about this discussion she turned the question on me, asking how I would answer.

Not in the mood for a theological essay, I brushed her off, explaining that I couldn't answer such a question on the spot, that it would require some thought.  While this was true, my hesitancy lied much deeper than that.  For I didn't tell her the thought that immediately surfaced--the thought that, "sure,  I could answer that question if it was worded the exact opposite--'what is something that was alive but now feels dead?'"

Because after two months of packing, moving, unpacking, starting a new job, helping start a ministry, while withstanding a virus that lurked in our home for fourteen days straight...well, somewhere in the midst of all of that, I allowed my relationship with God to get buried.  Smothered and choked, it died a slow death.  The result?  I felt stale.  Tired.  Spiritually breathless.  

And guess what the enemy does when your spiritual status is  knocked down and out?  Guess what he does when you stop feeding yourself a generous daily portion of the Word of God?  Ohhhhhh, he sees an opportunity that he cannot resist.   While we slowly become malnourished and emaciated, he slithers in with a vengeance and sets up residency.  And the longer he's allowed to stay, the harder it is to evict him.  He begins his sly attacks, using two of his favorite tactics--doubt and discouragement.  Arrow after arrow is launched as the subtle serpent winds himself around the circumstances of our lives.

Then before you know it a second wave of attacks begin, employing his other two favorite schemes--condemnation and confusion.  Arrow after arrow plagues you with the age old question, 'did God really say???'  Arrow after arrow, you become confused and discouraged.  Arrow after arrow, you feel too guilty, too guilty to even be of any use.  Soon the arrows bury you and there you sit--immobile, weighed down by your sin and your busyness.  You go through the motions, but you are like the walking dead.

Yet, God never leaves us nor forsakes us when we put him on the back burner.  He patiently sits in the background and waits.  Waits for his prodigal to return home.  And while He waits, he gently nudges and knocks on the doors of our hearts with His Truth and His love. 

God's Word says in Romans 2:4 that 'His kindness leads us to repentance.'  Keeping with his character, God began to sweetly do just that for me.  And it all started with a friend's question on Easter of all days, because that is how God likes to work.  When He speaks to us, He does it in his God-like creative fashion, causing it to symbolically stick--in our thoughts, in our minds, in our hearts.

Thus on Easter, the day that believers celebrate our new life in Jesus our Savior, He began a resurrection process in me.  First, He showed me that I needed to sit before Him in prayerful repentance...that this was the first step of getting back in relationship with Him.  In James 4:10, His Word says to 'humble yourselves before the Lord, and he shall lift you up.'  Over and over in scripture, God calls us to humility of Spirit before Him.  This is the always the first step.  

A few days later, He solidified this same message through some sermons by Chip Ingram I listened to: (http://m.oneplace.com/ministries/living-on-the-edge/listen/where-is-god-in-this-wicked-world-part-1-336934.html and http://m.oneplace.com/ministries/living-on-the-edge/listen/where-is-god-in-this-wicked-world-part-2-336935.html)

Drawing me back, He was.  Back to sitting at His feet.  Knocking, whispering, stirring like a gentle breeze brushing across my face.

As I continued to pray for a revival of Spirit, the defining moment of moments came during my Saturday run.  The song, 'The Words I Would Say' by Sidewalk Prophets came on my iPod.  The words came through the headphones so powerfully, I had to stop running and just listen:

Be strong in the Lord and, 

Never give up hope,

You're going to do great things,

I already know.

God's got His hand on you so,

Don't live life in fear,

Forgive and forget,

But don't forget why you're HERE,

TAKE YOUR TIME TO PRAY,

These are the words I would say.

Sure, I had heard this song a million times.  But on this day, it was like I was hearing it for the first time.  God spoke, speaking those promises over me with such a rush of His Spirit.  Tears streamed my response and a new resolve came upon me that day.  

A resolve to do battle.  A resolve to kick and evict that sneaky serpent and all his baggage right on out.

And inch by inch this week, I've been taking claim of these promises--HIS promises.  And every moment of soaking in Him has been loosening the hold of the tail of that reptile.   Every moment I choose to 'take my time to pray', I'm choosing victory over defeat.  And God has brought His powerful, resurrected life back into our relationship.   He has brought His powerful, resurrected life back into our marriage.  He has brought His powerful, resurrected life back into our ministry purpose.  Rebirth and Renewal, what He and He alone is best at. 

Rebirth.  It's a life long process--a wonderful, inch by inch, head-over-heel loving process.  A work only He can do.  A work I'm so grateful to be a part of!

So Michelle, you asked a deeply thought-provoking question.  It took awhile, it took His timing, but He supplied His answer.