Yes, toe jam. You know, that dirt that hides between your toes and accumulates? The dirt that makes your feet smell?
For as much as my husband and I dearly love our two (almost three) darling teenagers, we have not the slightest inkling of what we are doing! We don't know when to say no. We don't know when to say yes. We second guess our decision making, sometimes on an hourly basis. We are treading on unknown terrain--our feet are unsure and they are slipping and sliding, getting stuck in the mud and the mire. And we are accumulating toe jam. And lots of it.
Teenagers. They're muddy. They're messy. Not in the toddler-sticky-hand sense or the rowdy ten-year-old way. Instead, their disheveled untidiness shows up in emotional turmoil. Their angst comes from a combination of craved independence and raging hormones, along with a host of all kinds of other feelings, I suppose. They're up. They're down. They're all around. As a momma, I'm realizing how difficult it is to NOT get caught up in the roller coaster life of their momentary highs and lows. I often find myself rounding a curve and being thrown off into the muckity swamp, left on the side of the road to pick out toe jam, all the while yearning for The Golden Years (the beautiful yesteryears of ages 6-10.)
As much as I hate to admit it, I yearn for The Golden Years because those were the years when I had control. And I suppose having control gave me some peace. Teenage years, on the other hand, are all wrapped in letting go and extending freedom. I no longer always feel in control of their world anymore. I worry about the temptations and dangers they will face, and the mistakes they may make. I want the decisions they make to reflect that they are 100% sold out for Christ. Mostly because I want them to glorify Him in all that they do. However, if I'm honest, there's also a little bit of a prideful mixed-motive on my part: I don't want their mistakes to make me look like a bad parent.
I wish this wasn't true. But it is so very true.
So when I describe to you our life right now, it's not a 'jam'. We're not at a concert, pumping our hands to the music and jamming it up! No, picture something more like this: I'm hanging by my pinky finger off the side of a cliff, shouting for help. I'm crawling across the Sahara Desert, panting and dry-mouthed, barely making it. I feel unmatched, ill-prepared and unsure. Not only are my feet cut and bruised, they're collecting lots of dirt along the way.
Yet, here's the thing. There is One who makes it His occupation and His past-time to meet us in the slush.
In Psalm 40:1-2 the Lord tells us if we wait patiently for Him, He will turn to us and hear our cries. He will lift us out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; He will set our feet on a rock and give us a firm place to stand.
He lifts us out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire.
He sets our feet on a rock and gives us a firm place to stand.
What glorious hope-filled news this is! There is just ONE prerequisite. We must be willing to ASK FOR HELP. We have to be willing to cry out and acknowledge that we CANNOT DO THIS THING on our own! Once we admit our weakness, then He can become our strength.
Prayer. It really all hinges on prayer, doesn't it?
Prayer--this is what sweet Jesus is pressing upon my heart right now. He's telling me to gear up and get my prayer on. He's telling me to get prepared for a lot more toe jam, because battles are fought in the trenches, in the thick of dirt and mud. Now is not the time to be pining over yesteryears. Now is not the time to be caught up in inconsequential fluff and now is not the time to be wasting on social media, FOR CRYING OUTLOUD.
No. Now is the time to WAKE UP so we can GET DOWN. For some knee-bending and soul-pleading. There's a war being fought for our children and the stakes are way too high and way too close for comfort. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Whether you find yourself in a cliff-hanging or fist-jamming season, the time for intercession is NOW.
Bring your requests before a God who delights in turning yuck into beauty. Ask the One who holds the copyright to fashioning divine artistry from mere dust and dirt. He put the create in creativity, for heaven's sake! He specializes in wowing us with making seemingly impossibilities possible.
I can hear Him whispering, almost daringly, 'BRING IT'.
"Bring it to me, dear daughter. Cast your cares and worries about your teenagers on me for I care for you and for them. I will turn your mourning into dancing. I will turn beauty from ashes. Day by day, day in, day out, lean into me with your angst. Bring me your control issues so that I can be in control. Most definitely, there are going to be muddy and unclear days--but the key is to keep trudging, keep walking. Extend your hand to the one who will lead you beside still waters. To the one who can rain down grace on any and every situation. Through me, dear child, that hard to reach dirt can be blotted out, obliterated, and clean forgotten. Through me you can have a hand-raising, fist-pumping full out jam session. Through me, you too can be standing victoriously, exclaiming with a smile from ear to ear:
'Teenagers are my
