This past week was Joshua’s last week in P-Town before heading off to college. Pretty much anything Joshua wanted, Joshua got. Eric started calling it Joshua’s Farewell Tour. First, we made a special trip to the running store in Cape Girardeau. Then, I took him to get a haircut.
Then we went to get a few pair of shorts he has been needing. Since his love language is home cooked food, I cooked his favorites each day for breakfast and dinner. One evening two of his closest friends came over for grilled steak. And when he wasn’t around, I feverishly worked on a scrapbook for him of his high school years.
I had really wanted to give him a scrapbook in May when he graduated, but I never could get it together. I tried so hard to be super mom this week and make this scrapbook spanning four years in a matter of three days, but it just didn’t happen. So I had to give it to him as a ‘work in progress/to be continued’. While I was busy being super mom to my oldest, I'm pretty sure the rest of my kids got neglected. Especially my two youngest (oh, you never ate lunch? Here, have some saltines. No you can't have those four waffles. I'm saving them for Joshua.)
Everything this week has been prefaced with, ‘this is the last time for….’ Even the argument Joshua and Soph had regarding who got to drive what vehicle was began with, ‘this is the last time we will ever fight over this.’ Last night we had our Last Supper. I’m surprised I didn’t wash Joshua’s feet :) . Had I thought of it then, I probably would have. We were going to go up to the pool and eat dinner with Joshua, Sophie and Wes in the lifeguard office because they were supposed to work until 8:30, but someone pooped in the pool and they had to close early. I think it was a God thing, because they got to come home and we got to have our last supper around the dinner table. I am so thankful it worked out this way because it is the thing that Joshua said he is going to miss the most—our family dinners.
After dinner, we had one last big white van ride to get ice cream.
Then we came home and spent a few minutes taking turns praying for him as he begins his college life.
Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. James 5:16
'The Hay is in the Barn'
This is what our children's first ever XC coach used to always say at the end of the season right before the state meet. It was supposed to remind them that they’d already done all the work. They were trained up and ready. Now it was time to reap the benefits.
This is what our children's first ever XC coach used to always say at the end of the season right before the state meet. It was supposed to remind them that they’d already done all the work. They were trained up and ready. Now it was time to reap the benefits.
I was reminded of this saying yesterday as we were driving to drop Joshua off at Morehead. The hay is in the barn. We have spent nineteen years pouring our wisdom and knowledge into him, teaching him to the best of our ability. The foundation has been laid. He is trained up. Now, it's time for him to go it alone .
Younger mamas, hear me when I say this. We have missed things. We have left gaps. We have failed to do this parenting thing well on many occasions. However, don't miss this: it really wasn't about our ability to begin with. It was about taking our feeble attempts before God and asking Him to work through them and despite them. The best thing we can do as a parent is to ask God to be our strength in our weakness and fill in the gaps where we mess up. The best way we can parent our children is by staying so connected to God ourselves, that our 'fill up' overflows into their lives through our prayerful intercession for them and through His presence within us.
Upon leaving our boy at Morehead, I am sensing that a change has taken place in our parenting role of our 19 year old. He is no longer under our watchful eye to give him 'in the moment' advice or to coach him through situations that arise. Maybe we will still advise on occasion, but for the most part, he's on his own. It's time for him to mess up. It's time for him to fail. But what better way to learn then from his mistakes?
While our advising and teaching may no longer be as needed, there is one thing I believe God is telling us loud and clear: our main parenting job for our college student is to be on our knees in prayer. We may no longer be able to intervene physically, but we certainly can spiritually.
Young mamas, this is the most important weapon we have against all that will come against our child(ren) in the years to come. We must stay on our knees for our people. While it would be wonderful if our children leave our home with great teaching, words of wisdom and advice that we have given to them along the way, if I had to choose, my desire above all else would be that they left home with correct posture. A posture that turns to the Lord in prayer above all else, before all else. A posture that knows that the way up is down.
Prayer--it is not a work, it is the work.
"Prayer is as natural an expression of faith as breathing is to life." ~Jonathon Edwards
