The Ticket

I am a momma.  I am a coach.  In that order.  

In that order??!

Almost two weeks ago (May 11) was the biggest day yet in the running history of our two oldest, Joshua and Sophie.  It was High School Regionals.  This is the day you have to earn your ticket to state.  No matter how well you've run up to this point, everyone starts back at square one at Regionals.  You must run well on this day because only the top two places, first and second, move onto State.  If you place below that, you still have a shot at making it if your time is good enough, but it becomes harder.

This track season I ventured into new, unchartered territory.  I became the Heath High School and Middle School Track Coach.  What a learning experience this has been for me!  Oh, I quickly learned that I had a lot of learning to do!  Of course, that is a whole other post for another day...

So back to my story.  Two of my athletes also happened to be my children.

Mom and Coach.  Coach and Mom.  When these two jobs converge and collide, intermingling into 'one' on a day such as Regionals, what do you have?  

ONE HOT MESS.   

One Hot Mess.  That's it.  There was no two ways of slicing it.  

You know that sick to the stomach, nervous butterfly sensation?  You know the breathlessness you experience just short of a panic attack?  Yep.  Times three.  

TIMES THREE.

Not only regarding my own children, mind you.  At this point, these athletes--all of them--I thought of as my own children.  I had spent five days a week with them for three plus months.  Somewhere along the way, these athletes became more than just another kid.  They became like family.  Signing up for regionals--there are rules, there is paperwork, there are deadlines.  Knowing how important this day was to many of our athletes--if I thought upon it too hard--OH THE PRESSURE!  

The week leading up to the big day, I played it cool with my kids.  What coach lets their athletes see the angst?  While inwardly I chained smoked and bit off all my nails, outwardly I played the part.  

Strong.  Confident.  Assured.

If I've learned anything as Coach this season, it's this:

Fake it 'till you make it.

And that is what I did.  All week long.  Faked it with the best of them.

And ran.

Cause nothing relieves stress in my life like running.  So what did I do the morning of Regionals?  I ran the Iron Mom half-marathon.  It couldn't have been planned for a better time.  Nothing was gonna blow those jitters out like 13.1 miles.  I do believe that race kept me sane that day.  Calmed the inner storm.  Kept the breathing steady.

Based on the rankings, I had five athletes who had a great shot at making it to state:  Zach, MacKenzie, Brett, Joshua and Sophie.  I had another relay team that was within reach, and a few other athletes that could potentially gut out a spot.

With Joshua and Sophie in the mix, their Mimi and Dadoo were coming to the meet to surprise them.  Grandparents and 'big life moments' mix together in a beautiful way, making for a wonderful day regardless of outcomes.

The first race of the day was the 4X8 relay.  Brett, Josh, Zach and MacKenzie lined up, sporting the retro white head bands.  It was a good look.

Brett led us off and got us in a good position.

Josh was next.  While we dropped back to third, it was still tight.  We were okay.

Zach was the third leg.  He kept us in a tight third place on the first lap.

He passed St. Mary's on the second lap, moving us into a strong second.

MacKenzie took the baton and secured a second place for us.

He moved steadily up on Murray, the first place team.  Here they are crossing the finish line.  Had he another few yards, I really believe he would have gotten first!

Second, though, secured a spot to state.  OUR RELAY TEAM WAS GOING TO STATE!

We celebrated for a few moments and then got back to business.  Throwing, 110 hurdles, 100 yard dash...I cheered, I encouraged, I coached AND I tried to ignore the nervous pit in my stomach as my daughter's race got closer and closer.

And finally, finally it was upon us.  The race that had had me in knots all week.  The race that truly was a toss-up.  It was time for the moment of truth.  Toeing the line for the 1600, my daughter waited for that gun to fire.  Every time one of my children gets up to the start line, I relive my own race day jitters from when I was in high school.  Yes, those feelings come back in FULL FORCE. 

I wrung my hands and prayed.

As they waited, the announcer called out by name the top three runners in the race based on this season's times and emphasized the fact that only two would qualify for state.  Sophie was one of those named.

Oh the pressure.

I wrung my hands and prayed.

The gun went off and Sophie was quick out of the shoot.  Sophie has a history of going out way too fast and not having enough juice at the end of the race.  Especially when she's nervous.  Oh, you wouldn't have wanted to have been near me.  Just call me Negative Nancy.

'She went out too fast.  Her 200 time is way too fast.  Her 400 is ten seconds too fast.  She is not pacing herself.  This is not good...'  

They came around the curve out of the first lap, she in a steady third.

Lap two, Sophie on the inside:

Lap three:

Could she do it?  The anticipation, the wait, was just too much.

Lap four, coming around the curve, down the final stretch, she was still in third.  All of us screaming-hoarse, 'Go, Sophie, Go!'

And then she made her move

Sprinting to the finish line.  She did it!  She did it!  She did it!  She got second.  She ran her fastest this season!  

She was going to state.

I can't believe it.  I can't believe it.  I can't believe it.  Did I say I can't believe it?

First as a mom, second as a coach, or was it first as a coach and second as a mom?  Whichever way you diced it, I couldn't have been prouder!

Looking back, I'm not sure why I thought all those negative things...Sophie actually ran a very smart race.  She adjusted to the rhythm of the race and she didn't worry about splits or times, she just raced.  It taught me a lot that day.  That no two races are ever the same.  You have to adjust and stay with the front runners and sometimes run a different race than your used to.

And so we basked in this moment.  But it was just that--a moment. Because the very next race up was the boys 1600 meter run.  I had Zach and Joshua running in this one.  I wasn't too concerned about Zach--he was so far ahead of the rest that aside from something out of the ordinary--I knew he would get first.  Second though was going to be a tough one.  Joshua was going to have to run his fastest all season to secure it.  My stomach, oh my stomach.

They lined up at the start line:

Here they are either rounding the second or third lap.  Zach in first,  Josh in second and their buddy Leighton in third.  He was sticking close to Joshua...too close for comfort.

Another lap, and there is a pack of four of them all together.  The mom in me (or the coach in me?  which is it?!)--anyway, the coach-mom in me is screaming her head off...

And then--it clearly becomes a tough mom moment.  Sophie received her award for the 1600 at the exact time that Joshua got  beat in the 1600.  In fact, it was his worst ran race all year.  How do you absorb the shock of the two conflicting events?  It was definitely a strange mix of emotions.  I'll never forget this picture of Sophie watching her brother's greatest defeat while she received her greatest award. 

As a parent, so sad Eric and I were for our son, yet as coaches so ecstatic for these two seniors, Zach and Leighton.  This picture captures the satisfaction in Leighton's face and oh, we couldn't help but be happy for him!  He had ran a great race and his very best time for the season.  

And Zach--  He was going to state!  This boy was special, through and through.  A heart of gold, this boy has.  I love this boy like my very own.  I couldn't have been more thrilled.  

Yet, I couldn't help feeling the crushing blow for Joshua...such a great, hard-working kid, who happened to be my kid.  

Unfortunately, I couldn't wear my mom hat very long because I had athletes continuing to compete.  And sometimes after a race like that, it's just best not to dwell.  It's best to move on...especially when you have another race.  Which Joshua did.  The 3200.  If he was going to qualify individually it was going to have to be in this one.  As my husband is fond of saying, 'You better suck it up.'

Harsh yet the only good advice in a moment like this.

Suck it up and move on.

And that's what we did.  He moved on and re-focused his attention on the 3200.  And I moved on and re-focused...on the 800 meter dash.

MacKenzie and Brett.  Solid as a rock those two.  Both of them, so strong.

Just like Zach in the 1600, MacKenzie most likely had this one in the bag (of course, I didn't even come close to saying those words out loud then, but I can say it now!).  Second place, though, was going to be a battle.  Oh, how badly I wanted Brett to win!  Mostly because I knew with every fiber of my being how strong he was.  He was our Dark Horse--he was under the radar, in my opinion.  I hoped with every inch of my being that he'd surprise the masses that day!

The gun went off and MacKenzie took charge of that race  immediately.  He got out front and owned it.

  
And Brett was on the brink the entire race....  

He was in fifth, then fourth, then third...  I think I yelled more in that race than any of them that day.

It came down to the wire.  Brett was gaining and gaining on the guy in second...and they were getting closer and closer to the finish.

Yet in the end Brett crossed over the finish line just a nose away--a nose away--from going to state.  I know without a doubt that boy would have won if that race had been a few steps longer.   But unfortunately, it's not the 805 meter dash, it's the 800.

MacKenzie, though, was going to state!  I was not surprised one bit.  He was fierce.  He was competitive.  I knew without a doubt he would pull it out.

And before I could blink an eye, it was time for the 3200.  Oh me.  Oh my.  I'll just tell you.  I prayed like crazy that we would finish 1st and 2nd in that race.  

Zach than Joshua.  Please Lord.

They began in this order...

And, I'll just cut to the chase because a 3200 is a crazy-long race, and most people really don't care to hear the play by play....

They finished in that order--Zach, first and Joshua, second!

Zach and Joshua were going to state!  Heart overflowing for my senior, heart overflowing for my own flesh and blood.

Happy, so happy I was about these five athletes.  They had come.  They had saw.  They had conquered.  They had earned their ticket.

Eric and I made the road trip to Louisville last Saturday with these five--three of them seniors.  The 4X8 got tenth, Zach got 11th in the 3200 and MacKenzie got 13th.  They each ran their personal best (PR).  I was very proud as their coach!

My two--Joshua and Sophie--did not PR.  One of them actually didn't run so very well and has recently hit some rough terrain in his world of running.  

This is where Mom overrides Coach...in the difficulty of defeat, Mom and Dad are there to put their arms around their son and remind him of the bigger picture.  To remind him that win or lose:

'We love you.  God loves you.  This love is not based on results.  It's not even based on how you respond to the results.' 

There is no ticket to earn when it comes to God's love.

Simply, plainly, 'HE LOVES YOU.  NO MATTER WHAT.'


'I have known and believed the love that God has for me.  God is love; and I, who dwell in love, dwell in God, and God dwells in me.'  
                                                  1 John 4:16