It's Friday but Sunday's Coming!

I remember it vividly.  The season after my mom passed away.  I was so angry.  I was angry about the entire situation, the chaos that had surrounded her death, all the things that went wrong and the fact that she had died.  I felt empty.  Life seemed meaningless and futile.  I felt betrayed by God and in my anger I just wanted to shake my fist and walk away.  I was standing at a crossroads of belief.  I could either choose to keep traveling with God--whom I wanted to yell and scream at--or I could choose to say, 'Good Riddance!' and go it alone.

As I wrestled with this, I heard God say very loud and clearly to me: 'Faith is choosing to follow me even when you don't feel like it.  It's choosing me when everything isn't rosy and beautiful.  It's choosing me in the bleakest of days.'  

My questioning, my crisis of belief, brought me face to face with Hebrews 11:1 and 2 Corinthians 4:18:  

'Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.'  and 'So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.' {emphasis mine}

Faith.  Defined as 'strong or unshakable belief in something, especially without proof or evidence.'  The word I had tossed around so arrogantly and casually before.  Now I was having to decide if I could truly walk it out down to the core of my being.  

I did not end up walking away that day.  Instead, I ended up choosing Him, even though I didn't feel like it.  I chose Him because I knew in the deepest place of my soul that not choosing him would have been even more despairing.

I read something this morning that sums it up well:

'Desperation is better than despair.  Remember, our faith did not create our desperate days.  Faith's work is to sustain us through those days and to solve them.  Yet the only alternative to desperate faith is despair.  Faith holds on and prevails.'

I let my faith hold on that day and in the months to come, it prevailed.  God showed up in the smallest and most mundane ways--in ways that a passerby would have missed.  In ways that only spoke to me.  Sustenance for my soul, it was.  Just enough to keep me going and trudging on when I didn't feel like it.  Day in and day out, holding onto that faith applied salve to my wounds.  Little by little, it solved the seconds and the hours. 

Today.  Today we celebrate what we refer to as Good Friday.  The day that Jesus was nailed to the cross and died a horrific death.  Had Jesus' disciples been told on that grey, dismal afternoon that one day this ugly, chaotic day would be referred to as Good Friday, I'm quite sure that they would have found that absurd.  The day their Teacher, their Rabbi, their best friend whom they loved dearly, had died a brutal death?  Are you kidding?  What 'good' could be found in that?

You see, they too, were in a place that many of us find ourselves-- in circumstances that feel anything but good.  Circumstances that, in and of themselves, just downright stink.  Situations where we can't see a sliver of silver lining.  Just like us, they couldn't see past the moment.  Past the darkness.  Past the death.  Past the tomb.

We're told that hindsight's 20/20 and it's ever so true.  Had the disciples known on that bleak afternoon that Sunday was coming, maybe Friday being called Good would have made more sense.  While Jesus had tried to prepare them about all that was about to take place, they didn't have the slightest understanding or know-how to actually comprehend it.  That is, until after. 

After--when the tomb was empty.  After--when Jesus rose from the dead and appeared right in front of their eyes.  After--when they finally had eyes to see and ears to hear.  

Sunday came and with it came victory!  Grace cancelled out effort and work-based religion.  Life overcame death and despair turned to hope.    

Just like the disciples, we may find ourselves stuck in the darkness of Friday and not able to see the glorious light of Sunday.  In our Friday moments, we have to consciously choose to believe that Sunday is coming.  The dawn of a new day.   

I suppose this is what I did so many years ago after my mom's passing. I chose to take hold of faith even when I didn't necessarily feel like it.  To hold God's hand rather than go it alone.  To say "It's Friday, but Sunday's coming!'

Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:2

When obstacles and trials seem like prison walls to be,
I do the little I can do and leave the rest to Thee,
And when there seems no chance, no change, 

From grief can set me free,
Hope finds its strength in helplessness, 

And calmly waits for Thee.'

In the Darkest of the Dark

My friends.  My friends have walked through the unimaginable tragedy of losing a child.  They have literally been down to the depths of hell and back.  It's been a few weeks since the funeral and now--life goes on.  It goes on for all those around them.  It goes on for their two younger children.  It goes on for them even.  They get the excruciating task of walking forward and doing the normal things in life when life is anything but normal. They are left with a huge gaping hole in their heart that can't be fixed.  Yes, God will and is beginning the healing process, but it will be slow going.  While the pain will diminish over time, nothing will ever quite be the same.    

I've had the privilege of being up front and personal, of being right in the eye of our friends' storm.  I've had the honor of watching our friends cling to Jesus in the center of their trauma.  Here's what I got to witness of my mama-friend:  years and years of personal Bible study and prayer coming to fruition right in front of my eyes.  You see, for years and years, day in and day out, my friend spent time getting to know her Father.  She spent time in women's Bible studies.  She spent time in prayer.  She and her husband made it a habit to take their family to church.  This was not just one portion or compartment of their life.  It was the center of their life.  And when she found herself in the eye of a storm one Thursday afternoon, guess what kept her from being swept up?  The One whom she'd spent all those countless hours with, day after day, year after year.  The One who knew her before he laid the foundation of the earth.  The One who knows what she needs before she knows she needs it.

Those days and days of spending with her Savior.  They were training camp.  They were strengthening her for such a time as this when He knew she'd need to recount all those promises she'd studied in His Word.  For the darkest hours of the night when she would need to cling to Him.  The past four weeks I have literally watched my friends be a pillar of strength.  I have watched their foundation stand strong and not topple.  I have witnessed a house built upon the Rock and not upon sand.  I saw an inner strength and ability within them that wasn't them.  I saw my mama-friend grab her friends' hands in the darkest hours and not ask for prayers, but lead the prayers.  I saw her husband lead her and himself through difficult decisions and then gather up friends and family and explain things with strength and clarity.  Minute by minute, God has sustained them.  He gives them what they need when they need it.  He even gives them glimpses of His glory that emboldens them to trudge through the muck and mire of the present.

These days, I worry about the generations behind me.  The generation that has grown up amidst the cell phone technology.  Those that have never known what life was like unplugged.  I worry that they aren't learning how to be quiet and listen...to read God's Word and let it truly saturate their minds and thoughts.  I worry that they're not adequately experiencing training camp, that they're not putting in the time that it takes to build spiritual muscle, the time that it takes to build a sturdy foundation that will not topple.  I worry about all of us, really, how we are letting every inch of our lives be filled with activity and movement.  We have lost the art of being still.  Being still and truly knowing our God.  With each distracted moment, we are allowing our spiritual muscle to atrophy.  We are letting it get weak and flabby.  And weak and flabby can't withstand the weight of catastrophe.

One day, for each of us, adversity will strike.  It's not a question of if.  It's a question of when.  When that happens, I want to be like my friends.  I want to know God so well that I cling to Him like a well-worn blanket, full of familiarity, safety and warmth.  I want His promises and words to invade my mind as naturally as my heart pumps my next breath.  

My friends.  My friends are going to make it--not because of their own ability or strength, but because of their God's.  They are going to make it because they are resting in the shadow of His wings and they are tapping into the one and only source that is able to supply what they need, exactly when they need.  He enables them to run and not grow weary, to walk and not be faint.  He promises to never, ever leave us or forsake us, even in the darkest of the dark.  

I find great comfort in that.


"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them,  for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."  Deuteronomy 31:6

“Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them, may be compared to a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25“And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded on the rock. 26“Everyone who hears these words of Mine and does not act on them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. 27“The rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and it fell—and great was its fall.”  Matthew 7:23-27

"Those who trust in the LORD will renew their strength; they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not faint."  Isaiah 40:31