We entered the public school arena in August. We have children ranging from ages fifteen down to five. There have been so many things that have impressed me about their schools and their teachers...so many, many things. Overall, it has been a wonderful experience so far.
Yet, there has been one thing that I feel like we became immersed in that I have not enjoyed at all, and that is premature boy/girl relationships. My kindergartner comes home talking about this person having a boyfriend and this girl liking him, etc., etc. I hear moms discussing it so matter of factly. I hear teachers and parents encouraging it. Maybe it's because in Kindergarten it seems cute, but aren't we just encouraging it for the later grades?
My fifth grader has had note after note given to him asking him 'out'. My eighth grader, while working at the elementary school, was given a note by a fifth grader. My seventh grade daughter has been asked out (which just means boyfriend/girlfriend). And the list goes on.
Fifth, sixth, seventh and eighth grade parents take their children on 'dates' with their boyfriend/girlfriend...there are middle school boy/girl parties...there are middle school dances. Maybe you disagree with me, but I can't for the life of me figure out how this premature dating can be positive?
I was one of these kids who 'dated' and such in the middle school years and I can tell you from personal experience that there is not one good thing that can come out of it. Not one. I watched most of my classmates do the same thing and I can't tell you one good thing that came out of those relationships either. I certainly wish there had been someone to guide me through those years, encouraging me to make better choices. I certainly wish I had been given appropriate boundaries at that age.
So I guess my question is, why allow it? Isn't there a better way?
I do think there is a better direction that we as parents can steer our children towards. As Christians we are called to go against the grain, especially in the area of physical purity. As Christians parents we are called to lead our children to go against the grain in the area of physical purity. Where else are they going to learn this if it's not from us? Definitely not television, that's for sure!
I want our children to eventually date. I want our childen to get marryied But I want them to do it when they are mature enough to handle it and when they are mature enough to consider whomever they are dating for marriage...isn't that why we date people in the first place? So why do this too soon?
My friend forwarded me this post today on this very subject, and I thought it would be an appropriate thing to pass on to you to chew on and think about being that it is Valentine's Day and all:
Don’t Rush Your Kids Toward Romance | Espresso Minute | iMOM
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