Little Jerry's Birthday

Jeremiah Patrick was born on June 9, 2004.  Of course, I am late in posting a birthday limerick for him...he is so used to tardiness, I don't think it has phased him one bit!  All of Jeremiah's friends call him Jerry which just cracks us up.

So, here you go, Jerry--this one's for you!  Love you little buddy!

Jeremiah our fourth born is eight,

MLB he hopes is his fate,

Sensitive and caring,

He is known for his sharing,

Lil' bro thinks he's really great!

~And if it had a sixth line:  Being fourth, he is used to the wait!~

His Plan vs. My Plan

Yesterday morning we read the children's version of Jesus Calling for our family devotional.  It was centered around Proverbs 16:9:  'In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.'  The following was some of the commentary that proceeded: 

• I have a plan for your life, a perfect plan.  But I will show you only a piece of it at a time.  
• Sometimes I will give you a glimpse of your wonderful future, to encourage you to keep going.  But I want you to focus on staying close to Me today.  
• Don't crane your neck, trying to see what's around the next corner.  Trust Me enough to relax and enjoy your walk with Me today.

The Lord has really been working on me regarding these things this summer.  Just as Proverbs 16:9 says, 'In his heart a man plans his course', I have been completely caught up in planning our course in regards to our move.  

In my plan, we sold our house ourselves instead of having all the realtor fees.  

In my plan, we moved sometime in July, giving us ample time to say good-bye to friends in Louisville, but giving us plenty of time to get settled in Paducah.  

In my plan, we could go down and spend a week or two painting the house we bought and making it 'just right' before we moved in. 

In my plan, we were able to buy a house and still have money left over to put into the bank so that it was there when our cars bit the dust.  

In my plan, we sold our house in a couple of months time.

In my plan, we have a great health insurance policy with a small deductible.

Yet--

God's plan has determined that we get a realtor.

God's plan has yet to be revealed regarding the timing of selling our house.  God's plan may have us go to Paducah with our Louisville house unsold and live there in some kind of crazy-creative setup yet to be disclosed.

God's plan may not allow for any 'week or two' of painting or what have you.

God's plan may determine that we make just enough on the sale of this house to buy a house in Paducah.  His plan may determine that we will not have any extra money to save for a car; instead He will want us to rejoice in such because we get the privelege of living in expectant faith and seeing God come through when we do have to buy one.

God's plan might determine that we live in a much smaller house than our house in Louisville.

God's plan might not be to sale our house in Louisville at all.

God's plan might determine that we have a health insurance plan with a very large deductible.  His plan will want us to rejoice in the fact that we do indeed have insurance and not in the details of it. 

Sometimes it takes a day or two to adjust to God's plan--when He brings you down to the reality of what 'is'.  The truth is, outcomes are often not as 'fairytalish' as we would like.  If it was, we wouldn't really need much faith, would we?  Faith for God to step in and provide when we need something.  Faith that has learned to not be self-reliant.  Faith that chooses prayer and waiting over taking matter into her own hands.

As I thought upon all this, God brought to my mind Matthew 6:21:  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.  I realized that there is still treasure that I am holding onto in my heart--the treasure of security.  Security in a bank account rather than in He who brings the funds.  Security in a 'cute house' rather than in He who provides the dwelling.  Security in a good health insurance policy rather than in He, the giver and taker of life.  


When asked how to pray, Jesus gave an exhortation that we now call the Lord's Prayer.  It is considered the perfect prayer and an example to us of how and what to pray.  How often have we, as believers, prayed the line in this prayer, 'Give us this day our daily bread?'  Yet, how often do we truly mean it?  I may be praying with my mouth 'give me this day my daily bread', yet my mind is meditating on 'my future bread' and my actions are accumulating 'my future bread'.  


When God rained down manna for the Israelites, He ask that they gather it daily.  In fact, if they tried to accumulate manna for the following day (aside from storing up for the Sabbath), it would rot.  In their insatiable need for security, though, they tried to store up extra.  Guess what?  They found their next day stash--their 'security'--full of maggots.


Sometimes the only way to learn something is to be put in circumstances where we have no choice but to learn and grow (ummm, or complain and be miserable).  While I have a long way to go on this journey, I am 'learning' to...


                ...be thankful for daily provision.  
                    ...to not crane my neck into the future
                        ...to dwell in the Lord today
                             ...to trust in His plan.


No matter how upside-down His plan might look to 'our way of viewing things', trust in it.  End of story.

God cares about the little things--even vacuum cleaners

I would be lying to you if I didn’t tell you that this summer has been a bit of an emotional roller coaster. One minute I’m sad about leaving Louisville; the next minute I can’t wait to leave. One minute I’m sad about moving to Paducah; the next minute I’m chopping at the bit to get there. One minute I’m sad about leaving our home of the past eleven years; the next minute I can’t wait to start over in a new one. One minute I am giddy with excitement about going to the west side of the state and helping my husband start a ministry; the next minute I am scared and plagued with the ‘what if’s’ (what if we can’t make ends meet financially? What if support dwindles? What if our house doesn’t sale before school starts? What if???) And it’s back and forth and up and down and all around, until I begin to question my sanity.

Thankfully, God embraces emotional roller coasters. He gladly fastens His seat belt and rides alongside me, up and down the hills, around the curves; even upside down He’ll go, beckoning me to cry and spew it all out to Him. He never tires of my struggles. He is faithful to pull me out of the mud of ‘what-if’s’ and into the realm of His way of thinking. He reminds me to replace the ‘what-if’s’ with ‘whatever…’ (Whatever is true, whatever, is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things. Phil. 4:8)

He is always there, waiting. Waiting for me to ask Him to pull me out of the pit. Yet, sometimes I choose–yes, I choose–to sit in the mud for awhile.

A few weeks back, I found myself stuck in the mud. We were trying to get ready for a house showing. Once again, I had to call and borrow a vacuum cleaner from someone. You see, a few months ago our vacuum cleaner had broken and we hadn’t had the money to buy a new one. Thus, every time we needed to vacuum (which is often when your selling your house), we had to borrow one. I hated, absolutely hated, the feeling of calling and asking people. It just felt so–pitiful and needy. So that I wouldn’t bug the same people too often, I had a handful of people I would systematically rotate through.

It was hard enough to call and ask. Harder, though, was when I didn’t return it immediately and I’d get a phone call from the owner, asking for it back. That was the worst. I would get so frustrated with myself for forgetting. Believe me, this is a weakness of mine. I have always been absent-minded, but ever since five children entered my world…oh goodness, I forget. A LOT. Why, just this morning I had to drive ten minutes all the way back home because I forgot my purse.

So, on this particular day, I was struggling. I was wallowing in the mud. Big time. Not only had it been a week of scraping to make ends meet, Eric was gone to Paducah. I was tired of him being out of town, I was tired of having to creatively come up with ways to live frugally, I was tired of baking bread, I was just–TIRED. Dog-gone tired. I was struggling with being content. And I was struggling with finding joy in the small things.

Then my phone rang. It was the call–asking for the vacuum cleaner back.

UUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!! I’d had it with myself. Why couldn’t I remember to return things?!

It ended up being the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Needy and desperate, I cried, cried, cried out to God:‘I’m tired, I’m tired, I’m tired, I’m tired! I’m tired of all of this! I’m tired of always forgetting to return vacuum cleaners! I’m tired of this neediness! Please, please, please, bring us a vacuum cleaner! Would you just take care of this little thing? I am so sick and tired of having to borrow everyone else’s. I know you can do this. This is small potatoes to you. Please, just have someone bring one to our front door. Could you? Please??!!’

I don’t remember exactly what happened after this exchange; I wouldn’t be surprised if one of my children asked me why I was talking to myself again. Soon after, though, my phone rang. It was my friend Michelle. I missed it because I was returning the vacuum cleaner. Later that day, I called her back:

 'It just hit me that I have an extra vacuum cleaner sitting in my basement and I wanted to see if I could bring it by your house tonight.’

My thoughts immediately went back to my specific prayer:

‘Could you please have someone bring one to our front door?’

Mind you, Michelle had no idea the emotional angst not having a vacuum cleaner had been causing me. She had no idea that my angst had reached an all-time high.

 I shouldn’t have been surprised, but I was. Surprised, once again, by God’s grace and love in even little things like a vacuum cleaner. I do not think it was circumstantial that God brought the unused vacuum cleaner to Michelle’s mind right when he did. Sure, he could have reminded her of it months ago, but then I would have missed out on the gift of being needy and desperate. For it’s only when we are needy and desperate that we cry out to God. And it’s only when we cry out to God, that He will deliver us. And when He delivers us, whether it’s through His peace, His comfort or something tangible–like a vacuum cleaner–it is a gift. A gift of the supernatural kind. Lest we doubt, God’s Word reminds us:‘Hear, O Lord, and answer me, for I am poor and needy.’ Psalm 86:1

‘He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the ash heap; he seats them with princes and has them inherit a throne of honor.’ 1 Sam. 2:8

 ‘For he will deliver the needy who cry out, the afflicted who have no one to help.’ Psalm 72:12

It’s funny how much more you appreciate something when you’ve had to live awhile without it. Never have I been more appreciative or thankful for a vacuum cleaner. Every time I pull it out of our closet, I am reminded of what a gift it is. His gift.

Meet the ‘White Stallion’:

Isn’t she a beauty?

Look at that–-it even says ‘Power Wave’,

reminding me that God will always ride my emotional waves and infuse me with His Power to make it through the struggle…

reminding me that He wants to pull me out of the mud and mire…

…I just have to ask, believe and receive.


‘I waited patiently for the Lord;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
3 He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the Lord.’ 

Psalm 40:1-3